My Future Tattoos.

I’ve wanted a tattoo since I was little. Of course my parents don’t want me to have even one, but who are they to stop me? Oh right, my parents! But once I’m eighteen I’ll be able to get as many as I want. (I only want three.)

It started out as one on my left hip near the front, on top of the bikini line. I was twelve. Then another on my right hip that curves around towards the back. I was fourteen. Then another underneath my left breast on my ribcage. I was sixteen. It seems to go in two-year intervals. Does that mean that when I turn eighteen I’ll want another? I really don’t want more than three. Plus, three is supposedly a lucky number.

The first one looks like:

It’s going to be on my left hip near the front, on top of the bikini line. “MAI”, which means “star of the sea” in Latin. Beautiful. I love the moon, stars, and the sea, so it’s perfect for me.

Number Two:

“Let passion take you

Where reason would never go.”

But it’s going to wrap around my hip towards the back more. It was my horoscope one day, and I saved it into my phone. Whenever I had doubts about a boy or about myself, I’d always look at that quote and it’d give me the confidence boost I needed to be daring or even seductive.

And hopefully the last one:

“The best accessory

A girl can own

Is confidence.”

I want it more underneath my breast towards the front than underneath my armpit on the side. I love this quote because it’s really, really true. I didn’t have much confidence growing up, no matter how happy and outgoing I was as a child. I still was hesitant when it came to daring, exciting, beautiful things. When I turned sixteen, I found my confidence and I haven’t let go of it since. I love being confident. It’s just a shame that some people see it as arrogance, when really it’s not. Now that I’m a confident young lady I enjoy my life, what I do, how I act, and how I think. I feel better about myself now and about the others around me. It’s great being confident, and this quote just shows that it’s really true.

Those Tears, They Haunt Me.

 

Those tears, they haunt me,

When the sun goes down,

And the house is asleep.

Those tears, they haunt me,

When no one is around.

My thoughts, how deep.

Those tears, they haunt me.

My chest grabs a hold.

My throat swells up.

Those tears, they haunt me.

I try to fit into my mold,

But I feel as if I’ll pop.

Those tears, they haunt me.

Everything is serene,

Everything is well.

Those tears they haunt me,

But this is no dream,

I always seem to dwell.

Those tears, they haunt me.

I finally let them fall,

I am beautiful, after all. Continue reading Those Tears, They Haunt Me.

Poetry Is…

 

Poetry is emotions expressed through words.

Emotions of life experiences,

People,

Places,

Things.

Emotions of what we feel when we see the sun rise in Brazil.

Emotions of what we feel when you see a little girl hug her father.

Emotions of what we feel when your heart is broken.

Poetry is thoughts,

Feelings,

Emotions expressed through words that sound beautiful together.

Words that make you smile.

Words that make you cry.

Words that give you chills.

Poetry makes you feel.

Continue reading Poetry Is…

Politics Man.


His smooth as silk skin,

His soft as velvet lips that speak of politics,

She leans against the pedestal on her left foot,

And stares.

Not very lady-like,

Though she never was.

Deceitful in her exquisite dresses and flamboyant hats,

She tries to draw the attention of this man.

The man she must love.

She wonders,

What it is that is so attractive about him?

Continue reading Politics Man.

How Can This Be?

 

I saw you today.

I looked at you and smiled.

It took you a while to notice me.

How can this be?

When you finally smiled,

Your blue eyes turned upward,

Your cheeks became plumper,

And you grinned.

You grinned.

You didn’t smile,

It wasn’t real.

It was the kind of smile that you give,

Back to someone who smiles first.

How can this be?

You don’t love me,

Not anymore.

I wish you did,

Because I still do.

You still made my day today,

When you smiled at me.

You did notice me,

For once.

I’m not some part

Of your invisible past.

You can’t forget about me,

Because I can’t forget about you.

I’m still here,

Waiting for you.

Waiting for you to love me back.

Continue reading How Can This Be?

I Still Do.

 

You caused me so many nights of distress.

Even though its been six months already.

I still loose my appetite when I see you.

I still want to scream at you when your alone.

I still feel like punching you in the face when you laugh with your friends.

I still want you to feel betrayed and hurt.

I still want you to know what I’m feeling.

You still make my blood boil when I hear your stupid voice.

I still want to slap your sly grin off your face when you make a stupid remark.

Even though its been six months,

Even though you apologized,

Even though I forgave you,

I still hate you for what you did to me.

I still do. Continue reading I Still Do.

I’ve Only Shed One Tear.

 

I’ve only shed one tear,

Because of you.

But I know I’ll shed more.

It’s undeniable.

You know I will.

Because of you,

You’ve shown me

What true happiness is,

What true laughter is,

What true love is.

Because of you,

You’ve shown me

What true sorrow is,

What true regret is,

What true heart break is.

I’ve only shed one tear,

Because of you.

But I know I’ll shed more.

Continue reading I’ve Only Shed One Tear.

Do Wishes Come True?

Okay, so I know I haven’t been on in FOREVER! I’ve been super busy with my senior prom and celebration afterwards (we went to Hershey Park by the way). But now that it’s over, I finally have time to post, which I’m pretty psyched about. :) So, back on topic.

 

 

Ever since I was little, I’ve wished. I’ve wished about ponies, about being a ballerina, about being the coolest most popular girl in school, about being pretty and boys liking me. Boys. I think that’s the one thing I’ve wished about the most in my life, so far.

I wish he would like me just as much as I like him.

I wish he would notice me and say hi.

I wish he would give me a flower.

I wish he would ask me to be his valentine.

I wish he would feel what I feel for him.

I wish, I wish, I wish. Man, have I wished a lot. Maybe it’s just the romantic hopeless lover deep inside of me that’s trying to get out, but every time I see a shooting star, or birthday candles, or it’s 11:11, I always wish for the same thing: For someone to love me for who I am and not want to change me except for the better.

So freaking cheesy that it’s melting onto your lasagna dish, I know. But hey, we’ve all got some part of the hopeless romanticism inside us. That’s the reason why I called this blog Fairytales. Because only in fairytales will all your wishes come true.

A while back I wrote an article for my Journalism course last semester particularly about this subject of love and fairytales. And during that time, I was in love. Well, maybe not the kind of love where you want to spend the rest of your days on Earth together and have tons of babies. But the kind of love that was mixed with a little teenage infatuation. Isn’t it the greatest feeling ever? …Nooooo, not really. But it’s close to the real thing. The point of the article was that even though true love can only be found in fairytales and in reality it’s nearly impossible, don’t lose hope.

Now back to wishes, every New Years Eve since I became a high school freshman, I’ve wished, just as the glitter ball in Time Square dropped, two things.

One: That I’d find my one true love this year.

And two: That I would not date anyone for the rest of the school year.

Now, of course I didn’t wish them during the same new year, that would just be contradictory. It changed every new year. However, neither one of them have come true. Now it’s pretty obvious that the second wish I can do all on my own, compared to the first. And this past new years I wished for the second one.

I took some time off, a little vacation, from boys, and it feels GREAT! It used to feel lonely being single and seeing everyone making out at school, so lovey dovey that made you want to vomit green with envy. But now, now, I actually enjoy being single. I haven’t given up on boys, I still flirt with them, I just don’t date them. Now not to sound conceited, however, there have been around seven boys since my last committed relationship where they either asked me on a date, to be their girlfriend, to go to prom with them, or just hook up. I declined every single one of their offers. I just feel like that’s not me anymore. I’m not going to throw myself at boys anymore, metaphorically speaking of course.

And to be honest, boys have wanted me more. All those silly romance novels and chic flicks are actually right, for once. Boys like a good chase, where you play hard to get. Here’s the thing though: I don’t want them. I don’t want a boyfriend at the moment. I don’t want to hook up with anyone. I just want to enjoy life happily and stress free. Oh my gosh, do you know how stressful boys can be? Yes, of course you do. I bet you’re saying the same for girls. Okay, how about this: Do you know how stressful relationships can be? Apparently very. And it’s taken me three and a half years to figure that out.

I used to think when I was little that being single was bad, it meant you’re a prude, or a lesbian, or a prostitute. Man, can you believe how much my mind was warped about relationships or what!? Crazy shiz right there. But being single isn’t about any of that. Being single doesn’t make you any of that. Being single makes you happy, it makes you see the greater things in life that your partner could be holding you back from. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to be able to flirt every now and then with whoever you want. Now that I’m boy-free I can finally enjoy myself. I enjoy the more simple things in life. For years, my life has revolved around boys and I just finally jumped off of the boy-crazed train that never stops.

Now, don’t believe for a second that I’m a lesbian, because I am NOT. I love men, I do. But every now and then it’s nice to jump out of the equation and take a break for a while. I mean, I’ve been on that boy-crazed train since I can remember. And I hated it when it went down hill. The only good times where went it went up hill, and I bet everyone agrees with me on this.

The whole point of this post was to state that I’m finally going to have my wish come true. There are many lessons that I learned from this experience.

One is that it’s always good to take a break from something that stresses you out, even if you love it.

The other is that if you really want your wish to come true, make one that is realistic and reasonable. One that can be reached, achieved. One that can come true. Because wishes don’t just come true in fairytales.