I can’t change the world, but I can change the world in me.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Many people have asked me that in my life and I have always given a different answer. People always say to follow your dreams, your goals, your wishes. If you do what you love, you will be successful.
I originally wanted to be a writer, an author, a novelist. However, now I don’t know if I should… I love writing, creating new worlds, new characters, new lives. But will I really be successful enough to make a living off of it? And what about right out of college? Will I be publishing my works by the time I graduate with my B.A.? Will it be enough to own my own place, my car, bills, and still have some left over to enjoy being a young adult? I doubt it. I doubt I will have a job waiting for me right after college. I doubt I’ll be able to publish my first book and make millions off of it. I’m not being negative here, I’m just being realistic.
In this time and generation, it’s harder to find work, especially right out of college. What will my future look like in four years? In ten years? Will I be making enough money to live the life I want?
But wait. Ask me again. What do you want to be when you grow up?
What about an editor? It’s still in the same field as an author, just at the other end of the spectrum. I enjoy editing, I really do. I plan on editing student’s papers next semester and getting paid as a tutor. I think it’s perfect for me. The only thing I’m not good at is editing my own work, but then again, not many people can edit their work well either. Why not be an editor? If I get some internships I could have a job waiting for me once I graduate, if I’m lucky enough. I might not start out as an editor, but I could work my way up the ladder.
But what about my dream? People always say to follow your dreams. Well then what about my dream of becoming a published author for young adult fiction? Am I just giving up on it? Just like that? Because I have to be realistic?
I like to think of myself as a dreamer. I do. One of my favorite quotes is by the famous John Lennon.
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”
As a child, that’s all I’d ever do. Dream, day-dream, live in a fantasy world. Maybe that’s where Tom comes from. I sometimes doubt if he was ever really real? I did, and still do, have an over-active imagination. It’s one of the perks of being a great writer.
And then there’s those days, like today, where reality grabs your feet and pulls you down from the clouds. And you think, can I really do it? Can I really accomplish my dream? I don’t know. That’s my answer. A year ago, if you asked me I would have said yes, no question about it. But now? Am I giving myself an unreachable dream? An unrealistic goal? I don’t know.
I’m not being negative, I’m just being realistic.
Where is the balloon that brings you back into the clouds? Reality pulled us apart and I can’t find it. Come back to me…
You make this seem like it’s old news,
Like I’m experienced when it comes to this,
But I’m not.
I can’t take it back,
I can’t rewind time,
But I don’t regret it.
It was supposed to hurt,
It was supposed to be awkward,
It was supposed to be bad.
But it wasn’t any of those things.
I thought I’d feel different afterwards,
But I don’t.
I feel exactly the same as before.
How much I liked it.
How I want to do it again.
How I would do it every day if I could.
I liked how it made me feel.
How it boosted my confidence.
How I felt wanted and needed in a certain way.
I just liked it, a lot.
I want you to take me for a ride,
Take me high,
Make me rise,
Let it last all night long.
Oh my God.
I want it all. Continue reading I Want It All.
Today’s post is a list of my favorite quotes that inspire me to be the person that I am today. Whenever I feel down, like crap, I’m bored, or I just need some encouragement before I make a decision I look at this list. There are fifty-five quotes. More than half are from online, however, I wrote some of them. I’ll tell you right now, the last five I created. I hope these quotes help you as much as they have helped me. (:
Wrote this for my English class. It isn’t due until Friday, and that’s only the ruff draft. This class is so simple, yet so slow! Anywho, let me stop my rambling and you enjoy this shit of a day I had to endure at the ripe age of twelve. Lovely, right?
I just want to make this clear before you read this poem, I wrote this back in March. Just found it in an old notebook.
If I’m over you,
Why won’t I accept your friend request?
If I’m over you,
Why can’t I look at your house when I pass by?
If I’m over you,
Why do I still get so upset,
When I think of you.
If I’m over you,
Why do I still dream of you?
If I’m over you,
Why do these things still happen to me? Continue reading If I’m Over You.
The last week of August was EXHAUSTING but so much FUN! I went on this freshman orientation thing that SUNY Plattsburgh provides. It involves, hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, and a high ropes course, while spending the nights at the camping grounds called Twin Valleys.
The first day my group and I hiked the mountain called Noonmark, which is around 3.2 miles, and 900 feet in elevation. The view was absolutely amazing atop the summit. It almost made me regret not taking my camera or cell phone. It was killer on the legs all the way up, but so worth it once we made it to the top. I felt very accomplished.
Tuesday, we went on a high ropes course near Adirondack Community College. It was a lot of fun and very challenging. This one time I had to climb a thirty-foot tree and walk across a twenty-foot log. Of course, I was harnessed with ropes and the works, but it was so heart-wrenching at times. I just remember my heart pounding and that it was almost over. My favorite part was the zip line. I climbed another thrity-foot tree then attached myself to the line and zipped across the open field. It was pretty fun and surprisingly relaxing.
Wednesday, my group hiked twenty-five minutes to the top of Owl’s Head, where we went rock climbing. It was exhilarating! I climbed a real rock! It was only thirty to forty feet, but still! It was so much fun! I never felt as accomplished in my life!
Thursday, we hiked one of the steepest mountains in the Adirondacks called, Hurricane. It was only 2.3 miles, however had an elevation of almost 2,000 feet. And of course, that was the day where it rained and was super windy. So we didn’t stay atop the summit for too long. Plus, you couldn’t even see the view due to all the fog.
Finally, the last day came. We kayaked 9 miles around Lake Champlain. It was exhausting but so much fun. My shoulder blades had never ached so much in my life! The water can be very relaxing though, when you’re not thinking about the aching pains in your arms.
There was this challenge where you couldn’t shower for the whole week. I don’t know yet if I’m ashamed or proud to say that I did accomplish this challenge. However, when I got back that Saturday morning, I took one of the best showers of my life!
All in all, I’d say that it was an amazing experience. I can’t believe I did it considering I’m one of the most laziest people I know. I am very proud of myself and would I do it again? Probably not everything. Maybe just the high ropes course and the rock climbing. Now that was awesome! It was also a great bonding experience with making new friends before college even started. I am glad I went through what I did, because the people that I met there made it all worth-while.