I Was Going Crazy, Love Can Do That To You.

 

I felt like I was going crazy.

Especially when winter break first started.

I was having Ben withdrawals.

I was missing you like crazy that it hurt.

I don’t think I’ve ever missed someone so much in my life,

Other than my deceased dog.

Then when I finally said I love you to you,

I’ve never been so scared in my life.

I know there was no reason to be scared,

I mean you said it before me,

But I don’t know.

People say love makes you feel crazy,

And boy did I feel crazy.

I’ve just never felt like this before about anybody.

And it kind of scares me,

How much I’m letting you in.

I know my insecurities might seem silly,

But they’re true,

And they’re there:

They’re not going away anytime soon.

Just know that I love you. Continue reading I Was Going Crazy, Love Can Do That To You.

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How To Love Again

 

When you first told me you loved me,

I freaked.

I had been single for exactly a year before I met you,

And now you’re telling me those three words.

Those heavy three words mean so much,

Yet came so easily off your tongue.

 

I haven’t loved in so long,

And I’m scared to take the leap.

I know you will catch me,

Its just been so long.

I’m scared of what we have,

I’m scared of loosing it,

Loosing you.

 

You’re teaching me how to love again,

And it brings joy to me.

You bring joy to my world.

Please don’t leave me.

 

I bet you find my insecurities silly,

But no matter how much you will reassure me,

I will always have them.

 

Can I say that I imagine a future with you?

Can I say that it might be longer than you have planned…?

 

I think I’m falling a little too hard for you,

And that’s what scares me.

It’ll be easier to get hurt,

And I don’t want to get hurt.

 

Especially because,

I love you.

Continue reading How To Love Again

Caring For Your Tattoo.

About An Hour After Your Tattoo:

Remove the bandage and take a long, hot shower. Wash tattoo with antibacterial soap (like DIAL) and rinse with hot water, allowing the water to run on your tattoo. For they next three weeks, subservient showers should include a quick wash and rinse of you tattoo, then try to limit how much the water runs on your tattoo (no baths or hot tubs for three weeks). After your shower, pat dry your tattoo with a cotton or paper towel. Allow your tattoo to air dry for an additional five to ten minutes, then apply a small amount of Preparation H Ointment. After the plasma cycle (oozing) ends, which may take four to twenty-four hours, apply Preparation H Ointment to the tattooed area.

First Four Days:

Apply the Preparation H Ointment to the tattoo three to five times a day or any time your tattoo appears to be dry. Use sparingly, applying just a thin coat across your tattoo. Try to apply only to the tattooed area of your skin, as best as possible.

Day Five Through The Next Three Weeks:

Discontinue the use of Preparation H and switch to a fragrance-free hand lotion (like Lubriderm or Curel). Apply in the same casino in small amounts three to five times a day as needed. Continue this through the remainder of your three week healing process. (Three weeks is an estimated healing time using this care regimen. Each individual heals differently and your healing time may vary slightly.)

During the healing process, your tattoo will go through some changes. Some scabbing may occur but usually is minimal. For the most part, a thin layer of skin will begin to peel off. It is very important to let this fall 100% on it’s own. No picking or scathing at your tattoo, as this will result in lost color. Keep tattoo clean, moist, and out of the sun until fully healed.

Courtesy of Skin City Tattoos.

My First Tattoo.

I’m writing about my first tattoo and I don’t know how to start it… Well let’s start with how my day began.

I woke up at eleven in the morning, because what other time is a college student supposed to wake up at during winter break, and ate some oatmeal. My Google search taught me that it’s good to eat something at least an hour before your tattoo. Not something too light like a salad or too heavy like pasta. I chose oatmeal, because one it’s delicious, two it fills me up, and three it takes only one minute in the microwave.

After I ate, I took a shower. Google said that it’s good to wash your body before you get your tattoo done. The reasoning behind it is so the artist doesn’t think you smell bad and rush through the tat. When I was finally ready to go around two in the afternoon, I drove to the bank with my mum and my best friend Victor. I stopped by the bank to get cash, because most places like to get paid in cash.

Then it was go time. I was somewhat nervous, somewhat excited. Just like on the first day of college. Except college wouldn’t hurt you.

When I reached the tattoo shop I talked to the artist Chad. I went to Skin City in New Windsor, New York. I love the environment there. It’s clean, has nice decor, good music, and nice people.

Chad and I talked about the tattoo design and where I wanted to get it. Originally, it was going to be on my bikini line, however we decided to make it a little higher, so it could contort well with my hips and curves. Once we got the design done, he put the stencil on me. I loved it. When he was about to begin, my heart was pounding and I told my mum to grab my hand.

Once the needle went into my skin, it hurt a little bit. Once he got to the bone, it hurt a lot to the point where I was actually making noise. I tried to focus on my breathing and the music around me. Then I tried concentrating on my mum and Victor’s conversation, joining in every now and then. At some points when Chad was on the bone, I couldn’t even think, let alone talk. However, the pain was bearable.

Once the stencil was finished, my endorphins kicked in and it was numb. I could barely tell when the needle was in my skin, except for when he was on the bone. Once he started filling in the stars and the crescent moon, it hurt a little bit. It just felt like someone was scratching you over and over again in the same spot. After a while, it became numb again.

It took about 45 minutes to an hour to finish the tattoo. Chad was very nice and interesting to talk to. I was so proud of myself. I surprised myself with the fact that I could handle that type of pain. It really wasn’t that bad. Everybody makes out tattoos as very painful, regrettable decisions. However, mine was bearable and I know I will never regret my tattoo.

I got this certain tattoo because of my love for the sea, the moon, and the stars. When I go to the beach and swim in the ocean, I am the most content that I can be. The ocean has been a part of my life since I can remember. My family and I go down to the Jersey Shore every summer. We’ve also been to Florida, the Caribbean, and Mexico. When I’m in the sea, on a boat, my life comes to a halt and I just indulge in the beauty of it all.

The reason I got the moon is a very complex reason. I have always had a love for the moon. I am a night person, and obviously during the night, the moon is out. When I see the moon, I am at peace. It’s just soothing. I think it’s incredible how the moon can control the sea’s waves. My favorite animal is the wolf and the wolf’s love for the moon is just another reason for me to love it as well. I got the stars because I just think that when the night sky is clear, the moon is hanging high, and its so starry, that it’s just beautiful. I’ve always had a curiosity for the moon and stars. What’s out there in space? What are all these constellations? What are stars made out of? I love astronomy as well as astrology and stars just seem to represent both.

The wording, “Stella del Maré” stands for Star of the Sea in Italian. I chose Italian, because I am half Italian. My father’s side is all Italian and I take pride in my nationality. I know some Italian and plan on taking more courses in college to further my knowledge of such a beautiful language.

I love my tattoo and how it incorporates all three of my favorite things that I love into one. My tattoo has many memories behind it of the sea, as well as my favorite animal, my aspiration for knowledge about astrology and astronomy, and my nationality.

I chose the spot to be on my left hip because it’s near my bikini line and I always wear bikinis at the beach. I really don’t know why I chose my left side. I feel like it was a subconscious decision. My cartilage piercing is also only on my left ear. Research shows that you chose whatever side opposite of your writing hand. I’m a righty, so I picked my left side of the body. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but whatever. I also chose my hip, because it’s a spot where it can be hidden underneath clothing. I know I will be getting a professional job and you have to look professional, so it’s in a good spot where I can hide it if need be.

I love my tattoo and can’t wait to get my next two. (: And yes, you read correctly, I plan on getting another two. However, no more.

I Wish I Wasn’t Scared.

I wish I wasn’t scared

To tell you how I feel.

I wish I wasn’t scared

To show you how much it’s real.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

About where you’ll take me.

I wish I wasn’t scared

About what that’ll be.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

To let myself fall.

I wish I wasn’t scared

For me to give you my all.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

Since you told me those three little words.

I wish I wasn’t scared

That those three little words

Mean so much.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

About the whole thing.

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of what it can bring.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

But I am.

I wish I wasn’t scared

To change how I am.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

But I hope you can see.

I wish I wasn’t scared

That you were made for me,

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of saying it back.

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of getting an attack.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

To open my heart to you.

I wish I wasn’t scared

That I do love you.

Continue reading I Wish I Wasn’t Scared.

Happy New Years! 2012!!!

 

Happy New Years, everybody! Hope you all have a happy and healthy. :) Much love. I’d like to thank you all for a wonderful 2011 on WordPress. I hope you all have enjoyed my work in the past year. :) Thank you all for the constructive criticism, advice, support, and opinions. It’s helped a lot with my confidence in writing.

I’d like to say that I’m starting the new year with a job. *Hurrah!* I am an Administrative Assistant to the Editor of Saranac Review Literary Magazine on campus, as well as Supervisor of the Interns. It’s going to be awesome! It’ll be a great opportunity to experience the editing and publishing field. Hopefully it’ll help my in my career as much, if not more, as this blog has in the past year. :)

Thank you all, again. Much love and best wishes.

Happy New Year,