I knew this was too good to be true

I knew I was holding my subconscious emotions back.

No one goes from fiercely loving somebody to just… not.

I knew I was handling this heart break too well.

I wasn’t just surprising myself,

but my friends and family too.

I knew I was jumping back into casual dating too quickly,

to forget,

to move on.

I knew this was too good to be true.

With zero communication since it ended,

I’ve gone cold turkey.

Little reminders of you,

I tried hard to forget,

what you meant to me,

what you mean to me.

But love is everywhere.

You can’t ignore that.

At least, not forever.

I thought ignoring it

would make the pain less present.

I thought ignoring it

would make it easier to breathe.

I thought ignoring it

would make it easier to no longer love you.

I read today no communication is the only way to move on.

That until you know you’d feel okay

if you saw the one

you used to love

kissing someone else in the street,

no communication is the only way.

If I saw you

kissing someone else in the street,

I would hope I’d be okay.

But the thought of that right now,

has cracked my subconscious seal.

I’ve broken down.

I still love you.

I still want you in my life.

But I know you’re not my Mr. Right.

You were my Mr. Right Now.

You are my Mr. Wrong.

I deserve my Mr. Right,

but that won’t happen anytime soon

with me still loving you.

I knew this was too good to be true.

Jennifer Gioia (C) 2019

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