You’re my safe bet

We spoke for a while before meeting,

and I thought you were so much

fun.

We have a lot in common,

you’re witty,

and a total nerd.

But you’re not my type,

and I feel shallow saying it.

I’ve stuck it out

because I enjoy your company.

I’m the type to fall quickly.

I’m a hopeless romantic.

I’ll be honest,

I haven’t tried to feel

anything more than in the moment with you.

And while it’s always a great time,

there’s no passion.

I need a deep burning romance.

I need to feel nervous yet excited.

I need to feel something.

Yet I feel nothing with you,

at least nothing that resembles raw passion.

I will admit,

the physical aspect of our relationship is amazing,

but I need emotional passion

that I’m just not getting with you.

It’s not that you’re not giving it to me,

it’s that I can’t find it in myself to feel towards you.

You’re my safe bet.

I’ve realized that now.

I know I won’t be heartbroken with you,

but maybe I want to be,

or at least have the need

to be vulnerable and passionate with someone again

that gives the possibility of a heartbreak,

because then I know it’s real.

Should I nip this in the bud

before you get hurt?

You deserve to be loved fiercely,

and so do I,

but I’m just not your person,

and you’re just not mine.

You’re my save bet.

Jennifer Gioia (C) 2019