Okay, so I’m soooo sorry for taking so long. I bet you’re all used to me updating once a day. I’ve just been very busy with shuffling work, school, and finding free time to hang out with my love, Steven. Anywho, to make it up to you guys, I’ll post two poems today. Enjoy! (:
I’m trying not to love you.
I’m trying not to care.
I’m trying not to live my life
Wishing you were there.
I’m trying not to wonder
Where you are
Or what you do.
I can’t help myself.
I fell in love with you.
You used to be there.
Always only for me.
You used to keep me strong.
Be my eyes,
But now that you’ve left,
I feel broken.
I cannot see nor hear.
I feel shattered into tiny little pieces.
My stomach is in knots for you.
I try so hard every day
To try not to cry when I see you.
For you are
She hangs her head in disgust and shame.
Who is she? What is her name?
She might stand straight and might stand tall.
But in her mind she feels so small.
She takes one step forward but three steps back.
Trying to block the next mental attack.
In her mind, she slowly breaks.
A broken record of her mistakes.
Her knees grow weak, she then stumbles.
Suddenly the world around her crumbles.
She tries to block the thoughts in her mind.
But they have a hold, they start to bind.
They start to squeeze and pull tight.
She feels the pain and feels the bite.
She presses her hands to her head.
To her horror, her wrists are stained red.
She watches the blood slide slowly down.
Wishing, in the blood, her pain will drown.
The thoughts have control, they have her bound.
She wishes that salvation could be found.
She starts to scream and starts to shout.
Her mind is starting to fill with doubt.
Who is she? She can’t remember.
Her mind is burning like a dying ember.
Even though it hurts, she draws a breath.
Through her agony, she screams for death.
Her heart beats but it starts to slow.
Devilish thoughts then start to grow.
One last scream as they take control.
She has no heart, mind or soul.
Here one moment and the next, gone.
Her last breath will kiss the dawn.
She lays her head down and sighs real deep.
Forever to lay there in her sleep.
I watch the tears fall,
Into a deep dark well.
It’s a sad sight alright,
When no one even knew they fell.
No bucket or crank can rescue,
The memories in the hole.
Can salvation ever appear?
When no one will console.
So let the tears keep falling,
For the well will never fill.
Let the despair grow deep,
As deep as an abandoned well.
Every night she finds herself lying in bed,
Reliving and remembering
Every glance he gave
Every word he said.
And she couldn’t help but wonder
What it was about her that
Didn’t make her good enough for him.
She went dancing in the rain.
Letting go of all her regrets, fear and pain.
Now all she thinks about is
How she can keep feeling this way
Every time she laughs,
She hopes he is watching.
So maybe he will
Fall for her smile
as hard as
She fell for
“In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.”
2010 (c) Jennifer Gioia