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Come Back To Me…

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Many people have asked me that in my life and I have always given a different answer. People always say to follow your dreams, your goals, your wishes. If you do what you love, you will be successful.

I originally wanted to be a writer, an author, a novelist. However, now I don’t know if I should… I love writing, creating new worlds, new characters, new lives. But will I really be successful enough to make a living off of it? And what about right out of college? Will I be publishing my works by the time I graduate with my B.A.? Will it be enough to own my own place, my car, bills, and still have some left over to enjoy being a young adult? I doubt it. I doubt I will have a job waiting for me right after college. I doubt I’ll be able to publish my first book and make millions off of it. I’m not being negative here, I’m just being realistic.

In this time and generation, it’s harder to find work, especially right out of college. What will my future look like in four years? In ten years? Will I be making enough money to live the life I want?

But wait. Ask me again. What do you want to be when you grow up?

What about an editor? It’s still in the same field as an author, just at the other end of the spectrum. I enjoy editing, I really do. I plan on editing student’s papers next semester and getting paid as a tutor. I think it’s perfect for me. The only thing I’m not good at is editing my own work, but then again, not many people can edit their work well either. Why not be an editor? If I get some internships I could have a job waiting for me once I graduate, if I’m lucky enough. I might not start out as an editor, but I could work my way up the ladder.

But what about my dream? People always say to follow your dreams. Well then what about my dream of becoming a published author for young adult fiction? Am I just giving up on it? Just like that? Because I have to be realistic?

I like to think of myself as a dreamer. I do. One of my favorite quotes is by the famous John Lennon.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”

As a child, that’s all I’d ever do. Dream, day-dream, live in a fantasy world. Maybe that’s where Tom comes from. I sometimes doubt if he was ever really real? I did, and still do, have an over-active imagination. It’s one of the perks of being a great writer.

And then there’s those days, like today, where reality grabs your feet and pulls you down from the clouds. And you think, can I really do it? Can I really accomplish my dream? I don’t know. That’s my answer. A year ago, if you asked me I would have said yes, no question about it. But now? Am I giving myself an unreachable dream? An unrealistic goal? I don’t know.

I’m not being negative, I’m just being realistic.

Where is the balloon that brings you back into the clouds? Reality pulled us apart and I can’t find it. Come back to me…

Continue reading Come Back To Me…

One Year Anniversary of Fairytales!!!

I just want to thank all of my subscribers, fans, and random people who stumble upon my blog while being bored online for all the support you’ve given me. It’s been exactly one year today when I first posted on this blog. Thank you all so much again! I could not have done it without you! (:

– Jenny

Do Wishes Come True?

Okay, so I know I haven’t been on in FOREVER! I’ve been super busy with my senior prom and celebration afterwards (we went to Hershey Park by the way). But now that it’s over, I finally have time to post, which I’m pretty psyched about. :) So, back on topic.

 

 

Ever since I was little, I’ve wished. I’ve wished about ponies, about being a ballerina, about being the coolest most popular girl in school, about being pretty and boys liking me. Boys. I think that’s the one thing I’ve wished about the most in my life, so far.

I wish he would like me just as much as I like him.

I wish he would notice me and say hi.

I wish he would give me a flower.

I wish he would ask me to be his valentine.

I wish he would feel what I feel for him.

I wish, I wish, I wish. Man, have I wished a lot. Maybe it’s just the romantic hopeless lover deep inside of me that’s trying to get out, but every time I see a shooting star, or birthday candles, or it’s 11:11, I always wish for the same thing: For someone to love me for who I am and not want to change me except for the better.

So freaking cheesy that it’s melting onto your lasagna dish, I know. But hey, we’ve all got some part of the hopeless romanticism inside us. That’s the reason why I called this blog Fairytales. Because only in fairytales will all your wishes come true.

A while back I wrote an article for my Journalism course last semester particularly about this subject of love and fairytales. And during that time, I was in love. Well, maybe not the kind of love where you want to spend the rest of your days on Earth together and have tons of babies. But the kind of love that was mixed with a little teenage infatuation. Isn’t it the greatest feeling ever? …Nooooo, not really. But it’s close to the real thing. The point of the article was that even though true love can only be found in fairytales and in reality it’s nearly impossible, don’t lose hope.

Now back to wishes, every New Years Eve since I became a high school freshman, I’ve wished, just as the glitter ball in Time Square dropped, two things.

One: That I’d find my one true love this year.

And two: That I would not date anyone for the rest of the school year.

Now, of course I didn’t wish them during the same new year, that would just be contradictory. It changed every new year. However, neither one of them have come true. Now it’s pretty obvious that the second wish I can do all on my own, compared to the first. And this past new years I wished for the second one.

I took some time off, a little vacation, from boys, and it feels GREAT! It used to feel lonely being single and seeing everyone making out at school, so lovey dovey that made you want to vomit green with envy. But now, now, I actually enjoy being single. I haven’t given up on boys, I still flirt with them, I just don’t date them. Now not to sound conceited, however, there have been around seven boys since my last committed relationship where they either asked me on a date, to be their girlfriend, to go to prom with them, or just hook up. I declined every single one of their offers. I just feel like that’s not me anymore. I’m not going to throw myself at boys anymore, metaphorically speaking of course.

And to be honest, boys have wanted me more. All those silly romance novels and chic flicks are actually right, for once. Boys like a good chase, where you play hard to get. Here’s the thing though: I don’t want them. I don’t want a boyfriend at the moment. I don’t want to hook up with anyone. I just want to enjoy life happily and stress free. Oh my gosh, do you know how stressful boys can be? Yes, of course you do. I bet you’re saying the same for girls. Okay, how about this: Do you know how stressful relationships can be? Apparently very. And it’s taken me three and a half years to figure that out.

I used to think when I was little that being single was bad, it meant you’re a prude, or a lesbian, or a prostitute. Man, can you believe how much my mind was warped about relationships or what!? Crazy shiz right there. But being single isn’t about any of that. Being single doesn’t make you any of that. Being single makes you happy, it makes you see the greater things in life that your partner could be holding you back from. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to be able to flirt every now and then with whoever you want. Now that I’m boy-free I can finally enjoy myself. I enjoy the more simple things in life. For years, my life has revolved around boys and I just finally jumped off of the boy-crazed train that never stops.

Now, don’t believe for a second that I’m a lesbian, because I am NOT. I love men, I do. But every now and then it’s nice to jump out of the equation and take a break for a while. I mean, I’ve been on that boy-crazed train since I can remember. And I hated it when it went down hill. The only good times where went it went up hill, and I bet everyone agrees with me on this.

The whole point of this post was to state that I’m finally going to have my wish come true. There are many lessons that I learned from this experience.

One is that it’s always good to take a break from something that stresses you out, even if you love it.

The other is that if you really want your wish to come true, make one that is realistic and reasonable. One that can be reached, achieved. One that can come true. Because wishes don’t just come true in fairytales.

Adam Rex’s “Fat Vampire” Novel Review.

I finished Adam Rex’s Fat Vampire, like, three weeks ago. I’ve just been too lazy to write it. But now I’m good. (:

I’ll just say that it wasn’t what I expected. It was somewhat humorous, very dramatic, and a little bit romantic; but not so much. The ending wasn’t all that great. Rex had all these characters and plot lines and then let them whither away in the end. The main character dies. So obviously, there won’t be a sequel. I wasn’t happy with the ending at all. Sorry if I ruined it for you.

The book was okay. Maybe my expectations were too high? Maybe I should start reading books with no expectations. Then maybe they’ll all be great. To be honest, I don’t think I’d recommend this book. Sorry, Adam Rex. I think I like my girl authors a little bit better, and I’m not being sexist. I just understand them better cause, well duh, I’m a girl. :P

So that’s it for today. Have a nice night! :D

I Chew Novels And Spit Them Out For A Living.

That would be a pretty sweet career, don’t you think?

The only reason why I chose this title is because I am, almost literally, chewing 200-page novels since the new year began.

It first started out with finishing Lisa McMann’s Wake trilogy, Gone.

http://lisamcmann.com/html/gone.html

I started it last September, but with college planning and trying to be the better student for my last year of high school, my life was a little hectic to actually finish the book in a matter of a couple of months. By the end of January, I finally finished it. Ah-mazing! I love the way Lisa McMann writes and her new book Cryer’s Cross looks unbelievable. I can’t wait to read it when I’m done with my already long list of novels before college begins in the fall.

After that, I continued the series Blood Ninja with Nick Lake’s second book, Blood Ninja II: The Revenge of Lord Oda.

http://books.simonandschuster.com/Blood-Ninja/Nick-Lake/9781416986270

http://books.simonandschuster.com/Blood-Ninja-II/Nick-Lake/9781416986294

I love his novels; it’s an unusal change from my usual cheesy romance novels that I hold dear. First of all, I love anything ninja and Japanese. I love their culture and I myself follow some of the ways of a Buddhist. But then, Nick Lake puts a twist and gives the reason for all ninja’s talent and skills are from being vampires. Yes, that’s right vampires. I like how he doesn’t over-do the vampire part like Twilight or some of today’s modern supernatural fiction. The only times where he speaks of vampires is when you first learn of it in the beginning of the first novel and whenever the vampiric ninjas decide to feast. Each novel was about 400 pages, the font is small, the first novel had 75 chapters, and the second had 78 chapters. So his second novel took me a good month and a half. (I finished it last week.) I don’t remember how long it took me to read the first novel because it came out around a year or so ago.

After that, I went back to my romance novels. I chose to read Jody Gehrman’s Babe in Boyland.

http://www.jodygehrman.com/boyland.html

It’s about this girl who writes the romance advice column for her school newspaper. After getting many complaints from boys saying she only writes what girls want to hear and that she doesn’t know guys at all, she decides to conduct a few interviews to get both sides of relationships. However, no boy will be straight with her, so she decides to go undercover at the all-boys boarding school outside of her town and really see what it’s like to be a guy in a guy’s world.

I chose this book because I see similar stories like this online ALL the time! I myself have even written one (I lost touch with it and currently sits somewhere in the back of my computer collecting dust, such a shame). Anyway, the way Jody Gehrman wrote it was absolutely fabulous. Yes, I realize I said fabulous. I haven’t said that since fifth grade when everything had to be pink including my hair. I thank my mother now for not letting me. :phew:

Back on topic, not many authors, professional or amateur, can pull off a plot line where a girl goes to an all boys boarding school. You have to add logic to it, like how they’re going to trick the school, what the consequences will be once she gets caught especially with the law, and how she transitions to becoming a “boy”. However, Jody Gehrman definitely pulled it off, congratulations.

Not only did she open the eyes of her main character to boys, but she also opened the reader’s eyes, i.e. ME! My outlook on life, as an individual and a girl has changed. Not drastically, but enough to make a difference in my every day life. Now, that’s a big compliment to the author. I hope to one day do the same to my readers, even if it’s with cheesy romance novels like this one. Surprised that this genre could do that? Not me.

I’m not going to go into detail about how it changed my outlook on the “male species”, because that’d be giving some of the book away, so you’re just going to have to find out for yourselves and let it magically alter the way you think about boys. Especially high school boys. Wow.

I started it last Friday, finished it on Sunday. Can you believe it? Now the title of this post makes sense. I chew novels and spit them out for a living.

After that, I started to read Something, Maybe by Elizabeth Scott on Monday.

http://www.elizabethwrites.com/somethingmaybe.php

It’s a really nice novel where all the characters have flaws. I like that. When a character has flaws. Lets see: the main character, Hannah has many fears she has to overcome; her mother is a famous online camera whore; her father is a famous celebrity, think Charlie Sheen meet the guy who started Playboy; the boy she likes, Josh, has some but I’m not going to tell you cause it’ll ruin the book for you; the guy Finn, who’s majorly crushing on Hannah is also majorly annoying and won’t leave her alone; finally her best friend Teagan has left fashion school and is scared to go back. I hope I didn’t ruin some parts for you. Anyway, I just like how it felt real, it felt realistic, it felt like I could relate to the fears, the situations (at least some of them), and the problems that occurred in the plot. Hannah works for a fast food company taking people’s orders from the drive-thru window, so do some of my friends. Teagan has a retail job, so do I. I finished it this morning in study hall. It was definitely a good read.

Aaaaaand, today I am starting Melissa Walker’s Violet on the Runway during my break tonight at work.

http://www.melissacwalker.com/violetontherunway.html

So far, I have nothing to say about this, considering I haven’t even read the first sentence of the first chapter yet. But I’ll let you know. (: From what I know in the summary it’s about this girl Violet who couldn’t be more plain and average than any other teenage girl, at least to her. Then one day a lady comes up to her saying she’d be the perfect model and there’s a flight waiting for her to take her to NYC. Her secret… she’s going. Ooooh! Exciting! Can’t wait to start reading…

Lastly, I have the rest of my books list.

I’m going to make a page for it. If you have any suggestions on what I should add, let me know. (:

A Whole New Concept of Love.

Sam Rosso has been given the opportunity to teach English at one of the best schools in all the state. He’s new to Riverdale High and excited to make a great impact on his students’ lives. What he never expected was that he would make a certain impact on a particular student.

That student is Selene Doreck. She has flowing dark brown hair, eyes of turquoise pearls, and a smile that can brighten anyones day. When she first meets Mr. Rosso, she doesn’t even notice him. She is too busy talking to her best friend Annie about the latest gossip and senior year.

But Mr. Rosso, or Sam as he is known to her later on, has made an impact on her as well. His luscious blonde locks, his emerald green eyes, and his lips that seem just so… kissable. Once she does see him, she can’t look away, no matter how hard she tries.

What Sam didn’t expect was to be as impacted by a student as he was to her. Maybe even bigger.

Continue reading A Whole New Concept of Love.

Project Fiction

“This is a site dedicated to finding and praising those rare and few great authors of Inkpop, Mibba, Fictionpress, Quizilla and more other great fiction websites. The best part about it is that you, the readers, get to nominate the good fiction which are then carefully sifted through and hand picked to be added to the list.”

I just want to raise insight to this wonderful site. For those of loving fiction, poetry, and inspiration.

Our goal is to help young authors become better writers and to strive to write original, well-written, and meaning-infused works of art.”

So, please check it out. It’s an amazing site! (:

Source: http://projectfiction.org/

AN: I am not one of the amazing creators of this site, though I do sometimes wish to be. All rights are reserved to Project Fiction 2009-2011

What Is It Like To Be A Parent?

I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a parent. The love shared from a child to their parent is precious and should never be taken for granted. It’s a wonderful feeling to know you can always depend on your parents for everything and anything. However, there comes a time where loving, in my opinion, can be taken too far.

Like when they’re down your throat every five minutes, wondering whether or not your doing your homework. Sure, they are just looking out for you. They want you to be successful in school, so then later in life you can be successful in your career. I understand that. But it gets annoying after a while, don’t you think?

And when they say no to you asking if you can go to a friends house, twenty minutes away from ours might I add, because they don’t know them. But now that I think about it, they’ve met my friend’s mother, twice, with my grandparents for one of the times. And they’ve met my friend many times. They like my friend, they just don’t want me over their house. Which makes no sense to me.

There comes a time in every parent’s lives where worrying will take control over everything else. They won’t have time to sit, relax, watch the TV, even with your children. Because they’ll be too busy worrying what to make for dinner, if their kids did their homework, if they’re happy, or if they’re not even hungry for dinner.

I understand becoming a parent can change you. It adds a lot more responsibility onto your shoulders that you never thought you needed to take care of, but you do. I just think that sometimes, parents who worry too much about their children and family can take it over board… a lot.

Take my mother for instance. She just turned forty-six this past Sunday. She’s a teaching assistant for kindergarten and she loves her job. She has many friends, old and new, and family who love her. Including our two dogs, Amber and Chloe. You would think that she’s not that worrisome, not that neurotic, not that stressed. At least, I would assume you would think so. But she’s all of these adjectives and more.

This article isn’t just some seventeen year old girl complaining about how her mother is annoying and down her throat all the time. Because, yes, I’ll admit it. It is. However, I’m also, if you haven’t already realized, looking at the point of view of being a parent. I never like biased, one-sided situations. I like to look at the whole picture, front and back, before I even think, let alone speak, an opinion.

You’re probably thinking that I’m a teenager. What do I know about parenting? Yes, I’ve take the course Parenting in school, and even brought home that baby doll that cries and makes you never sleep on a school night when you’re just fifteen years old. But I think that I’ve read enough, seen enough, experienced enough to know some things about the stresses of parenting. No, I’m not saying I know everything, because I know that I don’t. How can I? I haven’t even learned calculus yet, and probably half of you reading this don’t even remember learning it, so I don’t know everything.

But I feel like I can make a some-what fair opinion of parenting. My side, from the eyes of a child, would say that,

“It’s not fair my mother has to be breathing down my throat every five minutes. I wish she would leave me alone, and trust me to do my homework or make myself dinner.”

But then, the motherly side of me (and even though I might be seventeen, I still have motherly traits. I mean, I’m a young lady. It’s my hormones that make me motherly) would say that,

“I have to worry about my daughter. What if she forgets she had homework, she’ll get a bad grade, which could lead to not graduating high school, which could lead to a non-successful career for her.”

Now, I’ll just come straight-out. The motherly side of me was bull shit, but it’s the gist of what my mother usually thinks.

You’re probably wondering why I’m even writing this.

1) It’s a good stress reliever for me to vent out my frustrations. Certain ones because of my mother.

And 2) I would like all parents, for the sake of their mentality and their children’s to listen to this.

Stop stressing and worrying so much. You can’t make a path for your child to follow in life. You have to let them make it and choose it themselves. The most you can do is push them in the right direction, teach them right from wrong, make them happy, and the rest will just fall into place for them. I understand everybody wants their children to be successful and happy in life, I know I want my future children to be successful and happy. But you all just need to sit down and relax. Watch TV with your kids, even if it’s something silly like Spongebob Squarepants or South Park. Stop worrying so much. Life wasn’t made for you to worry over. It was made to enjoy, relax, and be happy with who you are and who you surround yourselves with.

So there’s the end of my rant. I should probably show my mother this. I hope she doesn’t get mad that I shared to the world that she’s a worrisome parent. But seriously? Who isn’t? This was mostly written for my mother anyways. That little bit of advice I just wrote above is for my mother. And I know that there are many other mothers and fathers out there that are just like mine, so listen to my advice as well.

Moral of the story (rant): Life wasn’t made for you to worry over. It was made to enjoy, relax, and be happy with who you are and who you surround yourselves with.

Continue reading What Is It Like To Be A Parent?

Happy New Year! Another Year Of Leaving My Childhood Behind? I Think So.

After so many years of celebrating New Years, I’ve realized I’ve been taking it for granted.

You know when the ball drops in Times Square on the television everybody screams, “Happy New Year!” and blows on their noisemakers. Then we hug EVERYONE, wishing them a Happy and Healthy. Then we go back to socializing, like nothing even happened. At least that’s how my New Years has been since I can remember. I probably won’t start actual partying until next year when I’m eighteen. But that’s beside the point.

I’ve realized that I don’t ever, EVER, have a New Years resolution. Everybody always talks about it; how no one sticks with it. And the news channels and Internet go crazy with ways to keep your resolutions. But I’ve never paid any attention to them, because I never had a resolution. And if I did, it was something stupid like to not date anybody, so my heart doesn’t get broken…again. But then feelings get in the way and you end up forgetting about the whole thing.

But this New Years, I almost cried. Not that anything bad happened. It was the same boring party with family friends I have every year.

I almost cried, because:

1) This will be my last New Years as a child, under the United States law.

2) A whole year has passed and I’ve been taking the whole thing for granted. In September, I’ll be eighteen and in college. I won’t be with any of my childhood friends. I’ll have to start all over. Sure, I’m excited. But I’m also scared.

3) I’m scared.

4) I feel like my childhood is almost all behind me and I want to keep holding on. I know I’ll be fine on my own, I’m very independent and can take care of myself, but that’s not why I want to keep holding on. I want that childhood bliss. The feeling of knowing that everything is all right. There’s no such thing as bad except for the monsters in your closet or a scraped knee from falling off the swings.

Another year gone, means another year I’m pulled farther away from being a kid. And being innocent and ignorant.

And happy.

Now, I’m not saying that being an adult is horrible and it means you should be miserable. But you can tell the difference between an adult and a child very easily.

An adult has stress, responsibility, and fear. Fear from just how horrible and cruel the world really is. Terrorists, natural disasters, murders. Your eyes are open to everything and it won’t ever go away.

A child has no stress other than doing their homework, which also falls under the lines of responsibility. They have fear, but for all the different reasons. They know no such thing as terrorists or murders. The only thing scary in their lives is the Count on Sesame Street. (I always thought he was scary. He’s a vampire who likes math! Who in their right mind would like that?)

But if you see my point then you know why I’m scared and I felt like crying on New Years. So when you ask everyone if they had a Happy New Year, my answer would be, “No.” Simple and blunt as that. Unlike this huge rant of mine.

And my New Years resolution?

To not take things for granted, even the little things, and enjoy every minute of my life no matter if I’m an adult or a child. Or even in-between.

And this one, I will stick with. Because it’s easier than trying to loose weight (not that I need to), eating healthier, or trying to control your feelings for the opposite sex.

So let’s welcome 2011 and say goodbye to 2010. Not with regret or remorse. But with contentment that another good year passed by, even if there were downsides. Like my childhood slowly falling out of my grasp.

Happy New Year everybody.

Continue reading Happy New Year! Another Year Of Leaving My Childhood Behind? I Think So.