Tag Archives: believe

I Deserve You

This is my first poem about you.

This is my first real adult relationship after college.

This is my confession to you:

I love you.

I haven’t told you yet.

It’s only been four months,

but I know this feeling,

and I’m sure in this feeling.

It’s crazy to think about it.

What’s even more crazy is the fact I’ve waited until now to know what I deserve,

and to not take anything less.

I deserve you.

I deserve to be treated with respect.

I deserve to be romanced.

I deserve to be called beautiful every day.

I deserve to have all my inspirations encouraged.

I deserve to have all my aspirations supported.

I deserve to not intimidate you

with my confidence,

with my happiness,

with my grit and determination,

with my success;

as so many men in the past have been.

I deserve to smile when it rains.

I deserve to laugh when I cry.

I deserve to overthink

and have you pull me backwards.

I deserve to try new things.

I deserve to explore new places.

I deserve to have fun.

I deserve to live life to the fullest.

All with you.

I deserve to be loved.

And I want to be loved by you.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2018.

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“When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous” Book Trailer

One of my AWESOME editing clients from India took it upon herself to create an AWESOME book trailer for my book, “When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous.”

My ‘Love for Writing’ Journey: Part Two.

I was finally doing what I loved in my classes: writing. I took poetry and fiction workshops, Greek mythology, Shakespearean studies, young adult literature, children fables, drama and much more. I loved every moment.

During my workshops, I realized I really enjoyed editing and critiquing other writers’ works. I thought maybe I could be an editor if I didn’t find success as a novelist.

I landed the position as the administrative assistant and editorial assistant supervisor for Saranac Review the spring semester of my freshman year. Saranac Review is an international literary journal published by the English department on campus.

I also began editing my friends’ papers and came to the realization that it was more frustrating than I had thought. I don’t like to boast about myself or degrade my generation, but I was appalled by my peers’ lack of proper grammar usage and writing techniques.

Editing wasn’t for me, to say the least.

Then spring semester of my sophomore year came along. I was taking a writing fiction workshop where we focused on writing a short story for the whole semester with multiple drafts. I wrote the short story “Stability.” I received a lot of great feedback and constructive criticism.

However, I realized that becoming a novelist was just a dream; a dream that I could not reach; a dream of from which I would not be able to make a living.

I had to give my dream up.

I freaked out. What was I supposed to do now? What will I do for the rest of my life? I still need a bachelor’s degree to be somewhat successful in life. What was I going to major in now?

These thoughts and questions were swirling through my mind until I found help at SUNY Plattsburgh’s Career Development Center.

I went to them at least twice a week for a month taking personality and aptitude tests and consulting about what my next step was.

I was pointed toward the Department of Public Relations. At first, I didn’t really know what PR was, just that it involved writing and people skills, both of which I possess.

So I filled out the necessary paperwork to change majors but made sure my English writing arts major wasn’t fully wasted. I used 18 of those credits towards an English minor.

I started my PR major by fulfilling the prerequisites, which included public speaking. I fell in love with public speaking. It gave me the confidence that I now hold in speaking to a large group.

I was still working for Saranac Review at the time, so I was also able to maintain my love for literature by working in the department.

My first immersed PR course I took was also with my academic advisor, Professor Colleen Lemza. She sparked my interest in the field with her enthusiasm and great stories of her experience. With PR, I was able to really make a difference in people’s lives with my writing, which, in the end, was what I always wanted.

I undoubtedly believe that without Colleen’s passion for PR, I would have second-guessed my major choice. She helped me find the passion I now have for PR.

Saranac Review gave me the experience as a valued leader in a publication, while the PR department gave me the great knowledge and enthusiasm of the industry.


Look for the third part coming soon. Haven’t read the first? Be a part of my journey here.

Adjusting

So many thoughts swirling in my mind,

I’m graduating in a year – crazy!

He mentioned he wants to have a serious talk…

What’re we doing after we graduate?

I’m still trying to figure out where we’re going to live next fall semester!

What if we don’t get a job in the same area?

He said he doesn’t know if he could deal with a long-distance relationship.

I know it’ll be hard,

but I’m confident I could deal with it,

because my love for him is stronger than that.

How am I going to pay for rent right after graduation without a job?

Am I really going to succumb to a retail job until I get a “real” job offer?

I’m trying to adjust to all these new changes,

all these new phases in my life,

and trying to incorporate it into his.

Adjusting is hard

and I haven’t even started yet,

especially with a significant other.

Just thinking about it is stressful.

But at least it’s good that I’m thinking a year ahead.

(And that he’s thinking a year ahead.)

Jennifer Gioia (c) 2014

Trust

I don’t know how people do it.

How can you trust someone

so much

and know that

they’ll never be dishonest with you

and go behind your back

and do something else

with someone you know

is closer to perfection

than you are?

It might be my insecurities

getting the best of me,

because I know that no one is perfect,

but that woman is way closer to it

than me.

What makes you decide

to be so invested,

so secure

in our relationship,

to know that you would

never do anything,

no matter how attractive

the woman in front of you is?

She’s not me.

I believe that I trust you,

I want to.

What if she made a move?

Would you stop her?

Would you tell her you’re in love,

she’s not the one,

I am?

My mind is spinning in circles

over these “what if questions”.

What if your thoughts drift away

and you listen to your body?

Would you allow your body

to control your mind?

Would you let yourself

succumb

to the lust

of someone else’s touch?

These thoughts race through my mind

every now and then.

And I can’t help but think,

and hope,

that you don’t think

these things.

That you love me

and only me.

That you’ll stay true,

and honest,

and show me

that it’s okay to fully trust someone,

that you won’t always get hurt,

that you’re the best thing

that’ll ever happen to me.

That you’re my forever.

My one and only.

Jennifer Gioia (c) 2013

Without You

At night I lie awake,

and I think of you.

I wonder if you think of me too.

Do you have just as much trouble

falling asleep without me

as I do you?

I hold back tears,

as I look at the emptiness

next to me in our bed.

They slowly escape anyway.

I wipe them away.

I won’t let myself break.

Why can’t the days move any faster

so you could be in my arms once again?

I feel pathetic,

and lonely,

and lost.

I don’t have a home,

without you.

Continue reading Without You

I Remember

Duncan and I at 12 years old.
Duncan, 8, and I, 12, the day we put him down.

I remember waking up

but not what time.

I remember my father crying

but not knowing why.

I remember the drive to say goodbye

but not where we were headed.

I remember seeing him in pain,

but not being able to help.

I remember my parents talking to a doctor

but not about what.

I remember holding his paw

as he slowly drifted away.

Continue reading I Remember