Tag Archives: heart broken

You’re my safe bet

We spoke for a while before meeting,

and I thought you were so much

fun.

We have a lot in common,

you’re witty,

and a total nerd.

But you’re not my type,

and I feel shallow saying it.

I’ve stuck it out

because I enjoy your company.

I’m the type to fall quickly.

I’m a hopeless romantic.

I’ll be honest,

I haven’t tried to feel

anything more than in the moment with you.

And while it’s always a great time,

there’s no passion.

I need a deep burning romance.

I need to feel nervous yet excited.

I need to feel something.

Yet I feel nothing with you,

at least nothing that resembles raw passion.

I will admit,

the physical aspect of our relationship is amazing,

but I need emotional passion

that I’m just not getting with you.

It’s not that you’re not giving it to me,

it’s that I can’t find it in myself to feel towards you.

You’re my safe bet.

I’ve realized that now.

I know I won’t be heartbroken with you,

but maybe I want to be,

or at least have the need

to be vulnerable and passionate with someone again

that gives the possibility of a heartbreak,

because then I know it’s real.

Should I nip this in the bud

before you get hurt?

You deserve to be loved fiercely,

and so do I,

but I’m just not your person,

and you’re just not mine.

You’re my save bet.

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I knew this was too good to be true

I knew I was holding my subconscious emotions back.

No one goes from fiercely loving somebody to just… not.

I knew I was handling this heart break too well.

I wasn’t just surprising myself,

but my friends and family too.

I knew I was jumping back into casual dating too quickly,

to forget,

to move on.

I knew this was too good to be true.

With zero communication since it ended,

I’ve gone cold turkey.

Little reminders of you,

I tried hard to forget,

what you meant to me,

what you mean to me.

But love is everywhere.

You can’t ignore that.

At least, not forever.

I thought ignoring it

would make the pain less present.

I thought ignoring it

would make it easier to breathe.

I thought ignoring it

would make it easier to no longer love you.

I read today no communication is the only way to move on.

That until you know you’d feel okay

if you saw the one

you used to love

kissing someone else in the street,

no communication is the only way.

If I saw you

kissing someone else in the street,

I would hope I’d be okay.

But the thought of that right now,

has cracked my subconscious seal.

I’ve broken down.

I still love you.

I still want you in my life.

But I know you’re not my Mr. Right.

You were my Mr. Right Now.

You are my Mr. Wrong.

I deserve my Mr. Right,

but that won’t happen anytime soon

with me still loving you.

I knew this was too good to be true.

Jennifer Gioia (C) 2019

New story!

Thanks to my ENG303 Writing Fiction Workshop course, I’ve finished my short story, “Not Meant To Be?”.

Unfortunately, for you, I am only posting once every Friday. So if you would like, click the cover below and be brought to Wattpad.com, where I post most of my original fiction.

Image

Alissa Adams and Marc Archer plan on getting married once they graduate college. However, one drunken girl’s night at the club has lead her waking up next to a naked stranger. Alissa has cheated on her longtime boyfriend, current fiancé. In a state of shock, she makes her way back to her apartment and climbs into bed, hoping it all to be a nightmare. Although fantasy is sending her texts, she needs to answer the door, because reality is knocking.

*** Updates are every Friday, starting March 1, 2013. ***

COPYRIGHT: All my works are copyrighted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. This includes all chapters, prologues/epilogues and associated content (i.e fanfics, teasers and content within blogs, social networks and eReaders). Any unauthorised copying, broadcasting, manipulation, distribution or selling of this work constitutes as an infringement of copyright. Any infringement of this copyright is punishable by law.

Continue reading New story!

I Remember

Duncan and I at 12 years old.
Duncan, 8, and I, 12, the day we put him down.

I remember waking up

but not what time.

I remember my father crying

but not knowing why.

I remember the drive to say goodbye

but not where we were headed.

I remember seeing him in pain,

but not being able to help.

I remember my parents talking to a doctor

but not about what.

I remember holding his paw

as he slowly drifted away.

Continue reading I Remember

I Was Going Crazy, Love Can Do That To You.

 

I felt like I was going crazy.

Especially when winter break first started.

I was having Ben withdrawals.

I was missing you like crazy that it hurt.

I don’t think I’ve ever missed someone so much in my life,

Other than my deceased dog.

Then when I finally said I love you to you,

I’ve never been so scared in my life.

I know there was no reason to be scared,

I mean you said it before me,

But I don’t know.

People say love makes you feel crazy,

And boy did I feel crazy.

I’ve just never felt like this before about anybody.

And it kind of scares me,

How much I’m letting you in.

I know my insecurities might seem silly,

But they’re true,

And they’re there:

They’re not going away anytime soon.

Just know that I love you. Continue reading I Was Going Crazy, Love Can Do That To You.

How To Love Again

 

When you first told me you loved me,

I freaked.

I had been single for exactly a year before I met you,

And now you’re telling me those three words.

Those heavy three words mean so much,

Yet came so easily off your tongue.

 

I haven’t loved in so long,

And I’m scared to take the leap.

I know you will catch me,

Its just been so long.

I’m scared of what we have,

I’m scared of loosing it,

Loosing you.

 

You’re teaching me how to love again,

And it brings joy to me.

You bring joy to my world.

Please don’t leave me.

 

I bet you find my insecurities silly,

But no matter how much you will reassure me,

I will always have them.

 

Can I say that I imagine a future with you?

Can I say that it might be longer than you have planned…?

 

I think I’m falling a little too hard for you,

And that’s what scares me.

It’ll be easier to get hurt,

And I don’t want to get hurt.

 

Especially because,

I love you.

Continue reading How To Love Again

I Wish I Wasn’t Scared.

I wish I wasn’t scared

To tell you how I feel.

I wish I wasn’t scared

To show you how much it’s real.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

About where you’ll take me.

I wish I wasn’t scared

About what that’ll be.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

To let myself fall.

I wish I wasn’t scared

For me to give you my all.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

Since you told me those three little words.

I wish I wasn’t scared

That those three little words

Mean so much.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

About the whole thing.

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of what it can bring.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

But I am.

I wish I wasn’t scared

To change how I am.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

But I hope you can see.

I wish I wasn’t scared

That you were made for me,

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of saying it back.

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of getting an attack.

 

I wish I wasn’t scared

To open my heart to you.

I wish I wasn’t scared

That I do love you.

Continue reading I Wish I Wasn’t Scared.