Tag Archives: life

My Final Goodbye

I haven’t written about love

… or loss…

in a couple of years.

Life can grow so busy and routine.

You forget to stop and appreciate the moment.

You forget to appreciate all you have.

You forget how to keep your love life one of worth and value.

And you fall into a rut.

Not everyone welcomes change with open arms.

Some look through the peephole when change comes knocking.

Some run upstairs and hide under the covers.

Some open the door halfway to see what change wants.

Some open the door all the way and invite change into their home.

When it came to graduating college,

I welcomed change into my home.

When it came to moving to a different state,

I welcomed change into my home.

But when it came to attempting a long distance relationship with the man I loved,

I thought I was welcoming change into my home…

But what I really was doing was looking through the peephole.

It took 10 months of long distance to realize I wore blinders.

It took 3 months to realize I had fallen out of love…

It took 1 month to realize I felt like I was single

and no longer in a relationship.

It took 4 months after that to realize I had been making excuses for you.

It took 1 month after that to realize I was grieving.

I had fallen out of love with you.

I wasn’t heartbroken,

but I was grieving.

You were supposed to be the one and only man for me.

You were supposed to support me.

You were supposed to love me.

Instead, you pushed me away,

and I don’t even think you realized it…

It took me 6 months after I broke up with you

to realize you had been slowly pushing me away

since 2015…

People ask me if I regret wasting so many years of my life on you,

so many months waiting for you to grow up.

5 and a half years with you.

They ask if you were holding me back.

I was working full-time,

attending graduate school part-time.

I would have my master’s degree in two years.

You didn’t even have an associate’s…

only unused credits.

8 months have gone by since I’ve broken up with you.

8 months of reflection.

8 months to realize maybe I held you back.

8 months to realize maybe we both held each other back.

When I ended things with you,

I had felt single for the longest time,

I had felt like I put my life on hold for you,

but now I felt free.

I jumped into overdrive.

I met men.

I bought my own car.

I moved into an apartment of my own.

I dated a few men for a short amount of time.

I found out how I deserve to be treated.

I found out what I want in a partner.

I found out what I need in a partner.

And I found out how to look for that.

But I am done.

I am done grieving.

I am done thinking over what could have been.

I am done thinking about all the wrong things that happened between us.

I no longer want to be held back by us,

by what we had.

I wish you the best,

I truly do.

I want you to figure your life out.

I want you to find love again.

I want you to be happy.

But this is my final goodbye.


“When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous” Book Trailer

One of my AWESOME editing clients from India took it upon herself to create an AWESOME book trailer for my book, “When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous.”

My ‘Love for Writing’ Journey: Part Two.

I was finally doing what I loved in my classes: writing. I took poetry and fiction workshops, Greek mythology, Shakespearean studies, young adult literature, children fables, drama and much more. I loved every moment.

During my workshops, I realized I really enjoyed editing and critiquing other writers’ works. I thought maybe I could be an editor if I didn’t find success as a novelist.

I landed the position as the administrative assistant and editorial assistant supervisor for Saranac Review the spring semester of my freshman year. Saranac Review is an international literary journal published by the English department on campus.

I also began editing my friends’ papers and came to the realization that it was more frustrating than I had thought. I don’t like to boast about myself or degrade my generation, but I was appalled by my peers’ lack of proper grammar usage and writing techniques.

Editing wasn’t for me, to say the least.

Then spring semester of my sophomore year came along. I was taking a writing fiction workshop where we focused on writing a short story for the whole semester with multiple drafts. I wrote the short story “Stability.” I received a lot of great feedback and constructive criticism.

However, I realized that becoming a novelist was just a dream; a dream that I could not reach; a dream of from which I would not be able to make a living.

I had to give my dream up.

I freaked out. What was I supposed to do now? What will I do for the rest of my life? I still need a bachelor’s degree to be somewhat successful in life. What was I going to major in now?

These thoughts and questions were swirling through my mind until I found help at SUNY Plattsburgh’s Career Development Center.

I went to them at least twice a week for a month taking personality and aptitude tests and consulting about what my next step was.

I was pointed toward the Department of Public Relations. At first, I didn’t really know what PR was, just that it involved writing and people skills, both of which I possess.

So I filled out the necessary paperwork to change majors but made sure my English writing arts major wasn’t fully wasted. I used 18 of those credits towards an English minor.

I started my PR major by fulfilling the prerequisites, which included public speaking. I fell in love with public speaking. It gave me the confidence that I now hold in speaking to a large group.

I was still working for Saranac Review at the time, so I was also able to maintain my love for literature by working in the department.

My first immersed PR course I took was also with my academic advisor, Professor Colleen Lemza. She sparked my interest in the field with her enthusiasm and great stories of her experience. With PR, I was able to really make a difference in people’s lives with my writing, which, in the end, was what I always wanted.

I undoubtedly believe that without Colleen’s passion for PR, I would have second-guessed my major choice. She helped me find the passion I now have for PR.

Saranac Review gave me the experience as a valued leader in a publication, while the PR department gave me the great knowledge and enthusiasm of the industry.

Look for the third part coming soon. Haven’t read the first? Be a part of my journey here.


My ‘Love for Writing’ Journey: Part One.

Prince Charming saves the princess from an evil witch. That was the first real short story I remember writing. I was seven.

My mother has always encouraged my creative expression through dance, music and writing. Growing up, I expressed myself best through my writing of poetry, fictional short stories, journalling, lyrics and much more.

I have always had a vivid imagination, which would lead me to write anything that popped into my mind. From the beginning when I could first read, I also wrote. I wrote everything: poems about how blue the sky was or how I felt about playing music, and short stories about princesses, detectives or plain ordinary girls with problems just like myself. I started to take writing seriously when I was in seventh grade. I spent numerous hours creating plots; characters; twists and turns; and constantly changing the climax of each story.

Once I reached high school, I realized I could make a career out of my passion.

When I was 14, I stumbled upon two websites that were specifically made for aspiring creative writers. They included poems, lyrics, stories, etc. Quizilla was one, but no longer exists after TeenNick bought it, and Mibba was the second, which rightfully is still alive.

Based on the positive feedback from readers and other amateur writers like myself, I started taking writing more seriously. I love to write fictional romance, fantasy and free-style poetry.

Sophomore year in high school was when I started writing poetry constantly. I’d write poetry anywhere and everywhere: on my homework, my class notes and sometimes even my hand. I love writing poetry because it’s just an easy way to express how I feel. Before poetry entered my life, I used to have such trouble describing how I felt fully to anyone. After poetry, my stress was gone, I could think clearly and relax.

I love reading and writing poetry. I like to read the amateur poetry from poets around my age, with the same burning passion to write and some with the same problems. Those strangers, through the computer of many online writing sites, inspired me to be the amateur poet I am today. I don’t plan on making a career out of my poetry, I just like it as it is now, a hobby. When I was 16, I created this blog as a way to share my expression. I found other inspiring bloggers that shared my passion for all kinds of writing.

As high school graduation grew near, I knew I wanted to write fiction for a living … or at least that’s what I thought.

After graduation, I entered The State University of New York College at Plattsburgh. I started my freshman year as a declared English writing arts major, with the aspirations of becoming a fictional novelist.

Looking back now, I was young, optimistic and naive.

Move along my journey to the second part here. Haven’t read the introduction? Be a part of my journey here.


My ‘Love for Writing’ Journey: Intro.

As some of you  may know, I have written poetry and short stories since I knew the alphabet. However, since becoming a professional, I have also had my fair share of objective article writing.

I am writing a 3-part series about my writing experience starting young, then heading to college, to where I am now: one semester away from the “real world.”

Please keep in mind, this is for my Public Relations Writing class where I won’t have as much freedom in my writing style as you and I are used to.

I hope you enjoy reading my journey as much as I have living and learning through it.

It is not over yet. It has just begun…

Be a part of my journey:

Part One.

Part Two.

Part Three. – Coming Soon…



So many thoughts swirling in my mind,

I’m graduating in a year – crazy!

He mentioned he wants to have a serious talk…

What’re we doing after we graduate?

I’m still trying to figure out where we’re going to live next fall semester!

What if we don’t get a job in the same area?

He said he doesn’t know if he could deal with a long-distance relationship.

I know it’ll be hard,

but I’m confident I could deal with it,

because my love for him is stronger than that.

How am I going to pay for rent right after graduation without a job?

Am I really going to succumb to a retail job until I get a “real” job offer?

I’m trying to adjust to all these new changes,

all these new phases in my life,

and trying to incorporate it into his.

Adjusting is hard

and I haven’t even started yet,

especially with a significant other.

Just thinking about it is stressful.

But at least it’s good that I’m thinking a year ahead.

(And that he’s thinking a year ahead.)

Jennifer Gioia (c) 2014


What I Found are the Pros & Cons to Living Alone

The Pros To Living Alone:

  • You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, whenever you feel like it.
  • You can eat anything at any time without the fear of judgment.
  • You can walk around naked and not worry about anyone seeing as long as the curtains are closed.
  • You don’t have to worry about hogging the bathroom or if someone else is and might make you late for work in the morning.
  • You have a whole bed to yourself to spread out and relax.
  • You can wake up and go to bed anytime you want.
  • You have control over the air conditioner.
  • You can buy whatever you want at the store.
  • There is no one to tempt you to impulse buy, so it’s easier to save money.
  • You use less gas only having to drive to places you need/want to go to.
  • You clean and organize way more.
  • You feel like a mature adult.

The Cons To Living Alone:

  • You talk to yourself a lot including:
  1. Having a full-on back-and-forth conversation with yourself.
  2. Laughing at yourself.
  3. Commenting on yourself in the mirror out loud.
  4. Commenting on a thing you saw on tv, read about in a book or online out loud.
  5. You talk to yourself when checking someone out and giggle with yourself as if you were with your girl friends.
  6. You reprimand yourself by calling yourself by your full name and asking yourself “What were you thinking?”
  7. Talking out loud about what you’re going to do next while cleaning, cooking, driving, organizing, etc.
  • Commercials are way more tortuous with no one around to talk to while you wait for your show to go back on.
  • No one is there to help you wake up in the morning in case you hit the snooze button too many times.
  • No one is there when you need a comforting hug.
  • You only have you and your pillow to cuddle with at night and late into the morning.
  • If you’re trying to decide what outfit to wear or how to do your make-up that day, no one is there to help you choose.
  • No one is there to help rub aloe vera onto your sunburnt back.
  • You people watch way more and talk out loud to yourself as you imagine what they’re doing.
  • You curse at crazy idiots who can’t drive correctly way more than usual by also having a conversation with yourself about how can people be so stupid.
  • You start up small conversations with strangers every where you go, whether at the bank or the food market.
  • You think you’re going crazy talking to yourself so much.
  • You have to do everything yourself and miss your parents doing some things for you.

Nothing like living alone to make you realize how many responsibilities there really is when you grow up. Makes me appreciate living with my parents still, as well as my house mates in college. Going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts until I have to live alone, probably from a job not near my family or college friends.

Obviously you can tell there are more cons than pros to this list. Once I do have to live alone though for more than just the summer, I hope it’s not for more than a year, because I’m such a talkative people person I don’t think I’d be able to handle more than a year of living by myself.

Truth be told. What are your thoughts on living alone? Would you recommend it or absolutely stay away from it? Love to know what you all think!

Jennifer Gioia (c) 2014