Tag Archives: love

I Deserve You

This is my first poem about you.

This is my first real adult relationship after college.

This is my confession to you:

I love you.

I haven’t told you yet.

It’s only been four months,

but I know this feeling,

and I’m sure in this feeling.

It’s crazy to think about it.

What’s even more crazy is the fact I’ve waited until now to know what I deserve,

and to not take anything less.

I deserve you.

I deserve to be treated with respect.

I deserve to be romanced.

I deserve to be called beautiful every day.

I deserve to have all my inspirations encouraged.

I deserve to have all my aspirations supported.

I deserve to not intimidate you

with my confidence,

with my happiness,

with my grit and determination,

with my success;

as so many men in the past have been.

I deserve to smile when it rains.

I deserve to laugh when I cry.

I deserve to overthink

and have you pull me backwards.

I deserve to try new things.

I deserve to explore new places.

I deserve to have fun.

I deserve to live life to the fullest.

All with you.

I deserve to be loved.

And I want to be loved by you.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2018.

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My Final Goodbye

I haven’t written about love

… or loss…

in a couple of years.

Life can grow so busy and routine.

You forget to stop and appreciate the moment.

You forget to appreciate all you have.

You forget how to keep your love life one of worth and value.

And you fall into a rut.

Not everyone welcomes change with open arms.

Some look through the peephole when change comes knocking.

Some run upstairs and hide under the covers.

Some open the door halfway to see what change wants.

Some open the door all the way and invite change into their home.

When it came to graduating college,

I welcomed change into my home.

When it came to moving to a different state,

I welcomed change into my home.

But when it came to attempting a long distance relationship with the man I loved,

I thought I was welcoming change into my home…

But what I really was doing was looking through the peephole.

It took 10 months of long distance to realize I wore blinders.

It took 3 months to realize I had fallen out of love…

It took 1 month to realize I felt like I was single

and no longer in a relationship.

It took 4 months after that to realize I had been making excuses for you.

It took 1 month after that to realize I was grieving.

I had fallen out of love with you.

I wasn’t heartbroken,

but I was grieving.

You were supposed to be the one and only man for me.

You were supposed to support me.

You were supposed to love me.

Instead, you pushed me away,

and I don’t even think you realized it…

It took me 6 months after I broke up with you

to realize you had been slowly pushing me away

since 2015…

People ask me if I regret wasting so many years of my life on you,

so many months waiting for you to grow up.

5 and a half years with you.

They ask if you were holding me back.

I was working full-time,

attending graduate school part-time.

I would have my master’s degree in two years.

You didn’t even have an associate’s…

only unused credits.

8 months have gone by since I’ve broken up with you.

8 months of reflection.

8 months to realize maybe I held you back.

8 months to realize maybe we both held each other back.

When I ended things with you,

I had felt single for the longest time,

I had felt like I put my life on hold for you,

but now I felt free.

I jumped into overdrive.

I met men.

I bought my own car.

I moved into an apartment of my own.

I dated a few men for a short amount of time.

I found out how I deserve to be treated.

I found out what I want in a partner.

I found out what I need in a partner.

And I found out how to look for that.

But I am done.

I am done grieving.

I am done thinking over what could have been.

I am done thinking about all the wrong things that happened between us.

I no longer want to be held back by us,

by what we had.

I wish you the best,

I truly do.

I want you to figure your life out.

I want you to find love again.

I want you to be happy.

But this is my final goodbye.

“When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous” Inspiration & Major Themes

So, I’ve finally compiled all my sporadic thoughts together to write a preface for my urban fantasy novel, “When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous.”

My inspiration for this novel stems from the outrageous injustices black people and other minorities have had to endure in the U.S., and how it has been in the spotlight way too often since at least 2015.

Yes, I am a white middle-class woman, and I am aware of my privilege, but that doesn’t mean I am any less hurt from watching the people I love feel discriminated, ostracized, and unloved by the American people and corrupted police.

I would also like to mention for all those who don’t think the police are at fault, some are and some aren’t. There is good and bad in everyone. It just so happens that the bad are acting out and causing so many unjustified deaths.

This book is an outlet for me to release my emotions through a world I created where the minorities have been hiding for decades due to a dictatorship-like presidency; however, are slowly boiling over until a climax for justice is reached.

There will be powers not known to our world in this one and magic that I hope will make you envious, but the main theme will be the same: Justice.

This book supports #TalkThePOC and also the campaign #ProjectWomanUp.

#TalkThePOC is an all-inclusive movement inspired by FreeTheLGBT and personal experiences. People of color (POC) are greatly underrepresented in Wattpad fiction. This movement aims to help change that through the promotion of equality and the acknowledgment of the existence of various and beautiful ethnicities, nationalities, and cultures. This movement encourages POC characters, whether they be on the side, or in the center of fiction.

My book features beautiful, confident POC in positions of power and as really good friends. It is unfortunately true that characters of color are extremely lacking in Wattpad fiction, and professionally published fiction in general.

Everyone deserves the same opportunities and respect no matter who they are, what they look like, or where they’re from. I am proud to fight back and represent strong and realistic POC in fiction.

For those who know me personally, you also know of my advocacy for women empowerment and gender equality. What I love about #ProjectWomanUp is that it cuts through all the noise most Wattpad writers and readers are familiar with: damsels in distress and unhealthy, possessive relationships.

Those kinds of stories I’ve seen on Wattpad since the beginning (almost eight years now). This type of love has become idealized. It has become a sick definition of what love is, of what teenagers believe real love looks like, and real love is definitely not that!

I want to read (and write) stories about powerful women, who don’t solely rely on men like their lives depend on it. I want to see amazing women working towards a goal to better themselves, whether or not a lover is in the picture.

So, I am also proud to fight back and represent #ProjectWomanUp through Wattpad by portraying strong female characters in fiction.

I wrote more in depth about #ProjectWomanUp in my previous post. Check it out if you’re interested.

I’ve just briefly touched upon the preface of my book in the blog post. To read more of my preface, click here.

And, as always, thank you to everyone for your unconditional support and encouragement.

2-0-stickers-when-dreaming-becomes-dangerous

“When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous” now a part of #ProjectWomanUp

For those who know me personally, you know of my advocacy for women empowerment and gender equality. Well, my latest novel, “When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous,” is now a part of something that encompasses just that!

What I love about #ProjectWomanUp is that it cuts through all the noise most Wattpad writers and readers are familiar with: damsels in distress and unhealthy, possessive relationships.

Those kinds of stories I’ve seen on Wattpad since the beginning (almost eight years now). This type of love has become idealized. It has become a sick definition of what love is, of what teenagers believe real love looks like, and real love is definitely not that!

I want to read (and write) stories about powerful women, who don’t solely rely on men like their lives depend on it. I want to see amazing women working towards a goal to better themselves, whether or not a lover is in the picture.

I am in love, and it’s the real kind where there is respect, equality, communication, commitment, and genuine care for one another. I have been in love for almost five years now. It is not possessive, though there can still be times when jealousy pops up. It is not demanding, nor cruel, nor painful. What’s painful is our current long distance situation, but that has nothing to do with the love we have for one another.

He’s my best friend. We tell each other everything. We care for each other, more so like parents at times, if I’m being honest. We want to see each other accomplish great things and just be happy. That is real love. That is the kind of love that should be idealized and written about.

Especially on Wattpad, where, yes, there are authors and readers over 18-years-old, but a great deal of their active 45 million monthly members are underage. They are still trying to figure out who they are during their teenage years, which can be crazy difficult with so much being thrown their way. We’ve all been there; we know.

They should read about real love, healthy relationships, and kind friendships.

People who read experience scenarios they might not possibly ever experience in their lives. That’s one of the many reasons why I love reading and writing, but if they’re only reading negative perspectives of what is the ‘norm,’ they will begin to want that ‘norm.’

There are many variations to this quote, but the main idea remains the same:

“You only know what you read.”

So, I am proud to fight back and represent #ProjectWomanUp through Wattpad by portraying strong female characters in fiction.

A little bit about #ProjectWomanUp:

#ProjectWomanUp is a movement started by Alayna (est. October 25th 2015) supporting the empowerment of woman. Women are powerful people in the real world and it’s only fair that they should be portrayed the same way in literature.

Take a look at my new cover for “When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous” with the #ProjectWomanUp sticker and New Adult Reads sticker. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the sticker placements. I am awful when it comes to my internal struggle of keeping things unique, yet also symmetrical.

And thank you again for all your support and encouragement. Without you, it wouldn’t be as worth it for me.

2.0 STICKERS When Dreaming Becomes Dangerous.jpg

 

I finally have the time to write fiction again!

Hi all!

So I know it’s been some time since I last published my creative writing on Wattpad. Honestly, I don’t know how half of the writers on Wattpad do it: being a full-time college student with a part-time job and still finding the time to write for fun! There’s also the argument that some majors are more time consuming than others. I will say the field of public relations, when running three full campaigns at once, is very time consuming.

Anyway, big news! I FINALLY have time to write for fun again now that I’m a college graduate. Yay! So after much debate on which story in my head to write, I give you: Sapphire.

Sapphire Cover

So for those who have read some of my previous works, you know I write for a mature audience. That being said, this will also be for a mature audience. However, more for violence and blood than anything else. Though I will say, there will probably be a few naughty scenes scattered about…

I’m writing this note to you all so the summary of Sapphire gets published for all your lovely eyes to see!

I’m way more experienced in only really writing in the romance and supernatural genres, so please bare with me as this is my first really action-y adventure (romantic, of course) drama.

I don’t have a set date on when the first chapter will be published, but please follow here or on Wattpad if you haven’t already, so you can receive an update the minute I post!

Thank you all in advance for you support.

Here’s the summary:

King Martin Bartel was a ruthless ruler. For over a decade, he declared war on surrounding countries to fulfill his greed. He was unfair to his people and disloyal to his Queen. Out of wedlock, came an infant born of sapphire eyes. To keep the King on the throne, he forced the mistress to give her away.

Eighteen years have passed and the girl with sapphire eyes has grown, raised by nuns, unaware of her lineage; all the while, watching the King and Queen fail time and time again to successfully have a male heir.

Eighteen years have passed and dangerous people of Hofstra are becoming aware that the King will never have a legitimate heir. It’s time for a new ruler, one that promises peace and prosperity. Soon, rumors spread of this man’s rightful place on the throne.

Soon, rumors spread that a girl with sapphire eyes could sabotage the whole revolution; that is, if she knows of her true birthright and if they don’t find her first.

Jennifer Gioia (c) 2016

Adjusting

So many thoughts swirling in my mind,

I’m graduating in a year – crazy!

He mentioned he wants to have a serious talk…

What’re we doing after we graduate?

I’m still trying to figure out where we’re going to live next fall semester!

What if we don’t get a job in the same area?

He said he doesn’t know if he could deal with a long-distance relationship.

I know it’ll be hard,

but I’m confident I could deal with it,

because my love for him is stronger than that.

How am I going to pay for rent right after graduation without a job?

Am I really going to succumb to a retail job until I get a “real” job offer?

I’m trying to adjust to all these new changes,

all these new phases in my life,

and trying to incorporate it into his.

Adjusting is hard

and I haven’t even started yet,

especially with a significant other.

Just thinking about it is stressful.

But at least it’s good that I’m thinking a year ahead.

(And that he’s thinking a year ahead.)

Jennifer Gioia (c) 2014