Sometimes what you want the most — you’re better off without.
I’ve finally realized that you were the biggest waste of my time.
Sometimes you have to forget what you want, and remember what you deserve.
Love is a strange word, and it could mean a number of different things to different people. You have to realize that love isn’t a saying. It’s an action. Judge a person’s feelings by what they do, not by what they say. It’s just the little things people do to show they’re in love.
First off, it definitely doesn’t happen right away. So any person who says it immediately usually just wants to get in your pants, which entails that they’re inexperienced and don’t know what love is.
The analogy I use is that love is like a tree and infatuation is like a flower. A flower is bright and beautiful, and it blooms fast.
However, a flower has no will power; no strength. A flower will blow away during a storm or a passing animal could crush it. Flowers are seasonal. They die too fast and are too fragile.
A tree is not as bright and exciting as the flower. A tree takes a very, very long time to grow. But trees have tremendous roots placing them firmly in solid ground. A tree can live over 100 years. Trees even stand long after they die. Just like love.
The way someone treats you shows love. When you finally fall in love, it’s the most calming experience. You won’t even realize it right away. It’ll just hit you one day. You’ll know. You won’t doubt that feeling once you’ve felt it.
Love is still a strange word, although.
I can’t change the world, but I can change the world in me.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Many people have asked me that in my life and I have always given a different answer. People always say to follow your dreams, your goals, your wishes. If you do what you love, you will be successful.
I originally wanted to be a writer, an author, a novelist. However, now I don’t know if I should… I love writing, creating new worlds, new characters, new lives. But will I really be successful enough to make a living off of it? And what about right out of college? Will I be publishing my works by the time I graduate with my B.A.? Will it be enough to own my own place, my car, bills, and still have some left over to enjoy being a young adult? I doubt it. I doubt I will have a job waiting for me right after college. I doubt I’ll be able to publish my first book and make millions off of it. I’m not being negative here, I’m just being realistic.
In this time and generation, it’s harder to find work, especially right out of college. What will my future look like in four years? In ten years? Will I be making enough money to live the life I want?
But wait. Ask me again. What do you want to be when you grow up?
What about an editor? It’s still in the same field as an author, just at the other end of the spectrum. I enjoy editing, I really do. I plan on editing student’s papers next semester and getting paid as a tutor. I think it’s perfect for me. The only thing I’m not good at is editing my own work, but then again, not many people can edit their work well either. Why not be an editor? If I get some internships I could have a job waiting for me once I graduate, if I’m lucky enough. I might not start out as an editor, but I could work my way up the ladder.
But what about my dream? People always say to follow your dreams. Well then what about my dream of becoming a published author for young adult fiction? Am I just giving up on it? Just like that? Because I have to be realistic?
I like to think of myself as a dreamer. I do. One of my favorite quotes is by the famous John Lennon.
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”
As a child, that’s all I’d ever do. Dream, day-dream, live in a fantasy world. Maybe that’s where Tom comes from. I sometimes doubt if he was ever really real? I did, and still do, have an over-active imagination. It’s one of the perks of being a great writer.
And then there’s those days, like today, where reality grabs your feet and pulls you down from the clouds. And you think, can I really do it? Can I really accomplish my dream? I don’t know. That’s my answer. A year ago, if you asked me I would have said yes, no question about it. But now? Am I giving myself an unreachable dream? An unrealistic goal? I don’t know.
I’m not being negative, I’m just being realistic.
Where is the balloon that brings you back into the clouds? Reality pulled us apart and I can’t find it. Come back to me…