You’re my safe bet

We spoke for a while before meeting,

and I thought you were so much

fun.

We have a lot in common,

you’re witty,

and a total nerd.

But you’re not my type,

and I feel shallow saying it.

I’ve stuck it out

because I enjoy your company.

I’m the type to fall quickly.

I’m a hopeless romantic.

I’ll be honest,

I haven’t tried to feel

anything more than in the moment with you.

And while it’s always a great time,

there’s no passion.

I need a deep burning romance.

I need to feel nervous yet excited.

I need to feel something.

Yet I feel nothing with you,

at least nothing that resembles raw passion.

I will admit,

the physical aspect of our relationship is amazing,

but I need emotional passion

that I’m just not getting with you.

It’s not that you’re not giving it to me,

it’s that I can’t find it in myself to feel towards you.

You’re my safe bet.

I’ve realized that now.

I know I won’t be heartbroken with you,

but maybe I want to be,

or at least have the need

to be vulnerable and passionate with someone again

that gives the possibility of a heartbreak,

because then I know it’s real.

Should I nip this in the bud

before you get hurt?

You deserve to be loved fiercely,

and so do I,

but I’m just not your person,

and you’re just not mine.

You’re my save bet.

I knew this was too good to be true

I knew I was holding my subconscious emotions back.

No one goes from fiercely loving somebody to just… not.

I knew I was handling this heart break too well.

I wasn’t just surprising myself,

but my friends and family too.

I knew I was jumping back into casual dating too quickly,

to forget,

to move on.

I knew this was too good to be true.

With zero communication since it ended,

I’ve gone cold turkey.

Little reminders of you,

I tried hard to forget,

what you meant to me,

what you mean to me.

But love is everywhere.

You can’t ignore that.

At least, not forever.

I thought ignoring it

would make the pain less present.

I thought ignoring it

would make it easier to breathe.

I thought ignoring it

would make it easier to no longer love you.

I read today no communication is the only way to move on.

That until you know you’d feel okay

if you saw the one

you used to love

kissing someone else in the street,

no communication is the only way.

If I saw you

kissing someone else in the street,

I would hope I’d be okay.

But the thought of that right now,

has cracked my subconscious seal.

I’ve broken down.

I still love you.

I still want you in my life.

But I know you’re not my Mr. Right.

You were my Mr. Right Now.

You are my Mr. Wrong.

I deserve my Mr. Right,

but that won’t happen anytime soon

with me still loving you.

I knew this was too good to be true.

Jennifer Gioia (C) 2019

Another Reality

I just have to say,
after getting barely any sleep last night,
I do wish you the best.
I do hope you can reevaluate your life
and figure out what you want.

I also hope you can prioritize your life again
but realize how big of a mistake
you’ve made
letting me go
and not keeping me a priority
like I’ve kept you as one.

I thought I’d be by your side
while you sort out your life,
your depression.
I thought I’d be there
with you
as you grow more into who you are.

I thought our love was enough.

I thought our love was stronger than this.
But I guess it wasn’t for you
as much as it still is for me.

I’m still in love with you,
and I don’t know how
to just let you go.

I don’t know how
to live my life
without you in it.

I guess I’ll just have to
take it day by day,
like you will as you figure yourself out.

I’m very proud of you
for being brave
and trying to take charge of your life.
I just wish
you were able to do that
and still have me in your life.

I thought I had decided
I would try to move on last night,
but I wake up this morning
feeling as if I’ve stepped into another reality
and this one isn’t mine.
Because you’re not in it.

I only wish you happiness
and I’m sorry
I wasn’t enough for you.
I love you.

I’m not sure when,
or if,
we’ll talk again,
so I’m saying goodbye for now.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2019.

When You Know, You Just Know

How do you know you’ve found the One?

Your soulmate.

The one you’re supposed to spend

Eternity

With?

Will he make you feel special?

Will he treat you better

Than you ever thought you deserved?

Will he know how to make you smile,

Make you laugh?

Will he know when to give you space?

Will he know when to just listen?

Will he know when you need him?

Will he know all your faults,

All your weaknesses,

All your flaws,

And still accept you

For who you truly are?

Will he think you’re the most beautiful person

To him

No matter if you haven’t showered,

Or just finished crying,

Or are hacking up phlegm?

Will he know how lucky he is

To have you in his life?

Will he tell you how perfect

You are

To him?

Will he shower you with gifts,

Material,

Spiritual,

Physical?

Will he take interest in your passions?

Will he encourage your wildest dreams?

Will he be honest

And

True?

Will he take care of you

The way you always imagined

But never said?

Will he challenge you?

Will he stand by you?

Will he love you,

And

Always remind you of that,

Every

Day?

How do you know you’ve found the One?

Your soulmate.

The one you’re supposed to spend

Eternity

With?

When you know,

You just know.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2019.

Loving you is easy

Loving you is easy.

I always want to be with you

and do everything together.

We’re always on the same page,

on the same team,

in the same boat.

Loving someone has never been this easy

in my life.

That’s crazy for me to think about.

Every day

I feel so fortunate and blessed

to have you in my life.

Every day you show me more and more

why I love you

and how our love just keeps

growing

deeper and deeper.

More and more,

I am seeing signs of us

that we were meant to be,

that we were made for each other,

that you are my one and only.

Loving you is the easiest thing

I have ever done

and I hope to do it

forever.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2018.

I know it’s silly, but

Do you believe in fate?

Do you ever think about fate?

What about coincidences?

Well, what about the chance of us growing up 30-45 minutes away from each other until you move down here when you’re 13,

And then about 10 years later, I move down here,

And then a year and a half later, we meet.

What are the chances of that happening?

Is it a coincidence or is it fate?

Is it predestined?

An already spun tapestry of our interconnected lives.

The thread of our souls already intertwined?

Or is the tapestry incomplete?

Slowly spinning more and more as the sun rises and sets,

And the thread of our souls may not look like they will meet

Until they eventually do.

In this tapestry we call life,

Our threads have already met.

But what are the chances we have so many similarities in our upbringing

For it not to be predestined and prespun?

I think about these things.

I know it’s silly, but

it gives me hope.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2018.

I Deserve You

This is my first poem about you.

This is my first real adult relationship after college.

This is my confession to you:

I love you.

I haven’t told you yet.

It’s only been four months,

but I know this feeling,

and I’m sure in this feeling.

It’s crazy to think about it.

What’s even more crazy is the fact I’ve waited until now to know what I deserve,

and to not take anything less.

I deserve you.

I deserve to be treated with respect.

I deserve to be romanced.

I deserve to be called beautiful every day.

I deserve to have all my inspirations encouraged.

I deserve to have all my aspirations supported.

I deserve to not intimidate you

with my confidence,

with my happiness,

with my grit and determination,

with my success;

as so many men in the past have been.

I deserve to smile when it rains.

I deserve to laugh when I cry.

I deserve to overthink

and have you pull me backwards.

I deserve to try new things.

I deserve to explore new places.

I deserve to have fun.

I deserve to live life to the fullest.

All with you.

I deserve to be loved.

And I want to be loved by you.

Copyright (C) Jennifer Gioia 2018.

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